Build Your Mental Gym Part 6 of 13: Understanding Your Type of Tired

Introduction to the series:

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We often think of rest as a one-size-fits-all solution: sleep more, watch something mindless, take a break. But if you’ve ever woken up still tired—or felt oddly restless after a lazy weekend—you already know this: not all rest is created equal.

Fatigue has many faces. Sometimes it’s physical—your limbs feel heavy, your eyes burn. But sometimes it’s subtler: you can’t think clearly, your creativity is gone, or you’re overstimulated from a day of Zoom calls and Slack pings. This chapter is about learning how to name the kind of tired you’re carrying—and then choosing the right kind of rest to repair it.

Woman Resting on Charpoy (1940), Amrita Sher-gill

You’ll learn about the 7 types of rest, a science-backed framework that helps you match your recovery method to your actual depletion:

• Physical

• Mental

• Sensory

• Creative

• Emotional

• Social

• Spiritual

We’ll go beyond the listicle version. You’ll understand how each type of fatigue shows up in the body and mind, especially in women navigating chronic stress, cognitive overload, or hormonal fluctuations. We’ll talk about why the traditional “rest vs. work” binary doesn’t hold up, and how over-relying on passive rest (like scrolling or binge-watching) can keep you stuck in a low-energy loop.

I’ll show you how to:

• Identify your dominant depletion pattern (what kind of tiredness shows up most often for you)

• Align different types of rest with your menstrual cycle phases and stress load

• Integrate rest into your everyday rhythm without needing a retreat or sabbatical

• Avoid the trap of “performative recovery” (over-optimising rest, then feeling guilty when it doesn’t work)

Rest is not the opposite of productivity. It’s the infrastructure that sustains it.

By the end of this chapter, you’ll have a clearer understanding of your energy blueprint and a more precise way to replenish it. You’ll walk away with a personal rest protocol that actually restores you, not just distracts you. Because you don’t just need to stop. You need the right kind of stop.

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Rest isn’t optional—it’s foundational to health, especially when it comes to how our bodies manage stress. When we don’t build in enough recovery, we accumulate what’s known as allostatic load—the wear and tear on the body caused by prolonged exposure to stress hormones and heightened neural responses. Over time, this can erode resilience across multiple systems: metabolic, immune, cardiovascular, and cognitive.

Athletes have long understood what many of us are only just beginning to grasp: rest isn’t laziness, it’s a strategy. It’s as integral to performance as the workout itself. Between training sessions, the body isn’t just idle—it’s busy repairing muscle fibres, replenishing energy stores, and recalibrating toward homeostasis. Rest is what allows adaptation to occur.

When timed and prioritised correctly, rest reduces injury risk, wards off burnout, and ensures long-term gains. It’s not just about feeling better. It’s about creating the internal conditions that make peak performance possible—on the field, in the boardroom, or during a high-stakes life transition.

Rest isn’t one-size-fits-all. What restores one person might completely deplete another. Some of this comes down to baseline temperament—like the difference between introverts and extroverts. For one, recharging might look like a long walk alone, a good book, or time in silence. For the other, recovery might require the opposite: a room full of friends, spontaneous laughter, and vibrant conversation.

It also depends on what kind of stress you've been exposed to. If you’ve been buried in solo deep work all week, your system might be craving connection and play. If you’ve been in back-to-back meetings or navigating emotionally intense conversations, solitude might be the thing that helps you reset.

Not all stressors affect us the same way. Physical exhaustion, cognitive overload, and emotional strain—they each place unique demands on the body and nervous system. That’s why generic rest advice often falls flat. The real work lies in identifying the type of stress you’re under and choosing the kind of rest that neutralises it. Maybe that means gentle movement to counter mental fatigue. Or nervous system downshifting to recover from emotional hypervigilance.

The more precise we get about matching the right type of rest to the right type of depletion, the faster we recover—and the less likely we are to burn out in the long run.

Step 1: Identify What You Actually Need

This isn’t just about “taking a break.” It’s about taking the right kind of break. Start by tuning in with intention.

1. Pinpoint the stressor.
   What’s weighing on you right now? Is it mental overload from back-to-back meetings? Emotional tension from a relationship? Physical fatigue from pushing too hard at the gym, or skipping movement altogether? Zoom in. The more specific you get about the source of stress, the easier it becomes to choose the right recovery strategy.

2. Acknowledge what’s unmet.
   We all have needs—emotional, physical, social, spiritual. But many of us have been trained to override them in the name of productivity or performance. It might feel uncomfortable at first to admit you’re depleted or craving connection or needing stillness. That’s okay. Honesty is where restoration begins.

3. Normalise needing.
   Having needs doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human. Recognising those needs—and being willing to meet them—is a powerful form of self-leadership.

4. Name the rest that your body is asking for.
   Is it physical rest, like sleep or deep muscle recovery? Mental rest, like time away from screens and decisions? Emotional rest, like journaling or therapy? Social rest, where you take a break from people, or lean into connection? Or maybe spiritual rest, where you reconnect with purpose, ritual, or awe? Labelling the rest helps you choose the most aligned tool.

5. Signal safety to your nervous system.
   When you name what’s needed—and respond—you send a clear message to your body: I’ve got you. This builds trust within your system. It’s the foundation of true restoration.

Step 2: Let Your Type of Tired Guide the Plan

Now that you’ve identified the kind of rest your body is asking for, use that as your compass. You’re not guessing anymore—you’re responding with precision.

1. Start with the rest type you named in Step 1.
   This is your anchor. Whether it’s mental rest, emotional rest, or physical recovery, let that insight shape the rest of your choices. It keeps your actions aligned with what your system actually needs right now.

2. Browse through the sample protocols.
   I’ve included curated protocols for each rest type—think of them as your recovery toolkit. You’ll find everything from grounding breathwork to creative rituals to specific types of movement, all backed by the latest research.

3. Choose what feels good and doable.
   Not every rest practice will resonate with you, and that’s okay. Pick the ones that feel intuitive, enjoyable, or simply worth trying. You’re more likely to stick with what feels good, not just what sounds impressive on paper.

4. Think in full-spectrum care.
   Our needs are rarely one-dimensional. A protocol might target emotional rest but still support your physical or spiritual well-being. The best practices are the ones that address multiple layers of your system at once, without overcomplicating things.

5. Make space for it in your actual life.
   Add the practice to your calendar. Put it in your daily rituals list. Treat rest like you treat meetings or workouts: essential, non-negotiable, and worthy of your time.

6. Experiment and evolve.
   This is not a one-size-fits-all system. Your needs will shift. Your preferences will change. Some weeks, journaling might hit the spot. Other weeks, you’ll need total silence. Stay in dialogue with your body. Adjust as needed. That’s not failure—it’s intelligence.

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Mental Models

Rest is foundational to our well-being, and it’s something I deeply believe in. It’s not just about taking breaks when you're exhausted, but about integrating rest as an essential part of your routine to maintain long-term health and happiness. Prioritising rest allows us to recharge physically, mentally, and emotionally so we can show up fully for work, relationships, and personal endeavours.

In this section, I’ll share a few mental models I recommend to guide how we approach rest. These models emphasise the importance of rest, the need to protect it with boundaries, and the idea that rest strategies should be as unique as you are. Whether it’s understanding that quality of rest trumps quantity or learning how to create space for rest without guilt, these principles will help you navigate your rest routine with intention and self-compassion. I believe that prioritising rest is a lifelong journey—one that leads to deeper rejuvenation and sustained well-being.

1. Self-Care is Non-Negotiable
   Rest isn’t a reward you earn after hitting a productivity quota. It’s the baseline that allows you to function. Reframe self-care as essential maintenance, not selfish indulgence. When you rest, you don’t just replenish yourself—you show up with more presence, creativity, and emotional availability in every other part of your life.

2. Rest is Rejuvenation, Not Withdrawal
   Think of rest the way you think of charging your phone—it’s not optional if you want it to work. Rest is a necessary reset, not a sign that you’re falling behind. This model invites you to treat rest as active recovery, not passive escape. It’s what allows your system—physically, mentally, emotionally—to come back online stronger.

3. Quality > Quantity
   Eight hours of poor-quality sleep doesn’t equal feeling rested. Ten minutes of deep stillness might do more for your nervous system than an hour of distracted downtime. Instead of obsessing over minutes and metrics, focus on depth. Was this rest truly restorative? Did it land in your body? That’s the question to keep returning to.

4. Boundaries are a Prerequisite for Balance
   If everything’s urgent, nothing is sacred—including your rest. Boundaries are not walls; they are gates. They protect what matters. This mental model asks you to honour your limits: block off time, say no without apology, and resist the urge to multitask your way through recovery. You are not available for depletion.

5. Rest is Personal
   There’s no universal formula. One person’s recharge might be another’s drain. You might need solitude after back-to-back meetings, while someone else craves connection. Build a toolkit of rest practices and learn to reach for the right one at the right time. Rest gets powerful when it’s custom-fit.

6. Progress, Not Perfection
   You will not always get it “right.” You will sometimes override your body. That doesn’t mean you’re failing; it means you’re learning. Rest isn’t a checkbox; it’s a conversation with your system that deepens over time. Show up with curiosity, not judgment. Keep listening, adjusting, and returning.

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(optional) Activity: Journal / Introspection Questions

Reflect on your rest routines:
Take a moment to consider the activities or habits you regularly engage in to relax and recharge. What practices leave you feeling refreshed and restored? For example, do you find peace in nature walks, meditation sessions, creative hobbies, or cosy evenings spent with loved ones? Identify the restful activities that resonate most with you and commit to incorporating them into your routine regularly. Think about how these practices make you feel and how you can ensure they have a consistent space in your life.

Recognise your rest signals:
Tune into your body and mind to recognise the signs that it’s time to prioritise rest. What physical sensations or emotions indicate that you're feeling overwhelmed or depleted? Pay attention to patterns like fatigue, irritability, or difficulty concentrating. These are often clues that your body and mind need a break. By acknowledging these signals, you’ll become more attuned to your own needs, allowing you to proactively honour your need for rest before it becomes a bigger issue.

Identify barriers to rest:
Reflect on the obstacles that may be standing in the way of getting enough rest. Are there external factors—such as work demands or family responsibilities—that make it hard to prioritise self-care? Or internal barriers, like perfectionism or difficulty setting boundaries? Consider the patterns or habits that contribute to a constant feeling of busyness or overwhelm. By identifying these, you can start exploring strategies to overcome them and make space for rest and relaxation in your life.

Explore restful activities:
Consider the different forms of rest you can incorporate into your week to nourish your body, mind, and spirit. What activities leave you feeling replenished? Think about everything from physical exercise and social connection to mindfulness practices or quiet moments of solitude. A well-rounded self-care routine incorporates a variety of restful activities, addressing all aspects of your well-being, so be sure to diversify your approaches and explore new ways of recharging.

Set boundaries for self-care:
Reflect on the boundaries you may need to set in order to honour your need for rest. Where do you feel overextended or obligated to others at the expense of your well-being? Are there situations or relationships where you struggle to assert your own needs? How can you communicate your boundaries assertively and prioritise your own self-care without feeling guilty or hesitant? Establishing healthy boundaries is essential to maintaining your rest and rejuvenation, and taking steps to reinforce them will lead to a more balanced and fulfilling life.

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Section 1: Nervous System Regulation

Part 1 of 13: Wired But Tired? Start With Your Nervous System

Part 2 of 13: What Kind of Dysregulation Are You Experiencing?

Part 3 of 13: Holistic Regulation Protocol for Fight-or-Flight (For When Your System is Stuck in Overdrive)

Part 4 of 13: Holistic Regulation Protocol for Freeze (When You Feel Numb, Stuck, or Shut Down)

Part 5 of 13: Holistic Regulation Protocol for Overall Menstrual & Brain Health

Part 6 of 13: Understanding Your Type of Tired

Part 7 of 13: Restorative Protocols for the 7 Types of Unrest

Section 2: Build Your Mental Gym

Part 8 of 13: Neurotransmitters: The Gut-Brain Axis and Fuelling for Nervous System Regulation

Part 9 of 13: Neuroplasticity: The Vagus Nerve

Part 10 of 13: Neurogenesis: Interoception and Exposure to Hormetic Stress

Section 3: Work Less & Better to Earn More

Part 11 of 13: Peak Performance Training

Part 12 of 13: The Power of Creative Flow

Part 13 of 13: Productivity 101

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Disclaimer: Understanding Research in Female Health and the Female Brain

The content provided in this series, "Build Your Mental Gym: A Brain Health Protocol for Women in Tech (in 13 parts)," is intended for educational purposes only and should not be construed as medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The information presented here is based on existing and available research in female health and the female brain, but it is essential to recognise that scientific understanding in these fields is continuously evolving.

1. Limited Scope of Information: The material covered in this series offers a general overview of topics related to nervous system regulation, with a focus on how it pertains to women in the field of technology. While efforts have been made to ensure the accuracy and relevance of the information presented, it is not exhaustive and may not encompass all aspects of female health or brain function.

2. Individual Variability: It is essential to recognise that individual experiences and health conditions may vary significantly. Factors such as genetics, lifestyle, medical history, and environmental influences can all impact an individual's nervous system regulation and overall well-being. Therefore, the information provided should not be applied universally without consideration of individual circumstances.

3. Consultation with Healthcare Professionals: Participants are encouraged to consult with qualified healthcare professionals or medical experts regarding any specific health concerns or questions they may have. While the content presented in this series may offer valuable insights, it is not a substitute for professional medical advice or personalised healthcare recommendations.

4. Evidence-Based Practices: Where applicable, the series content may reference evidence-based practices or findings from scientific research studies. However, it is important to recognise that research findings may be subject to interpretation, replication, or revision over time. Participants are encouraged to critically evaluate the evidence presented and consider the credibility and relevance of research sources.

5. Gendered Nature of Research: It is crucial to acknowledge the historical and ongoing gender biases present in scientific research, which have often resulted in a lack of comprehensive understanding of female-specific health issues and brain function. The underrepresentation of women in clinical trials and research studies has contributed to gaps in knowledge regarding the unique physiological and neurological characteristics of women. As such, participants should be aware that certain aspects of female health and brain function may not be fully understood or adequately researched.

6. Legal and Ethical Considerations: The creator of this series has made reasonable efforts to ensure that all content complies with applicable legal and ethical standards. However, the information provided should not be construed as medical advice.

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